Running

I never thought I would be a runner. It has never really held any draw for me and I thought people who did it were a little kooky. I mean why go out early in the morning to do something that leaves you gasping for air and sweating like a pig? Or am I the only one who is gasping and pig-like after a run?

But...I am getting into it. I can see the distance I go increasing week by week. I started out being able to run for about a minute before I had to stop and walk. Now, I'm up to running almost 3/4 of a mile before I have to stop.

My total distance has increase from a mile to a mile and a half. My time is improving as well.

Now my feet don't hit the floor in the morning just dying to go run but once I get out there I'm ready to go and feel a great sense of accomplishment once I cross that point where I know I'm done for the day.

When God Gets Personal...With My Character

Mark 1:9

Lost Words in our Society: Humility

Humility is not a natural thing...it is a supernatural expression through Jesus Christ.

Phil. 2:3-7

Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in light of God's holiness and our sinfulness.

To practice humility means I'll put the well-being of others before my own personal fame or glory.

www.Iamsecond.com

Matthew 23:11-12
1 Peter 5:6

Humility is often expressed in non-obvious ways.

Pride is the #1 quality of Satan.

Humility doesn't lead to insignificance. It results in honor and value in God's eyes.

John 3:30
Matthew 18:1-4

Growing Pains

12 1/2 is a difficult age. I was just telling a friend that I love Patrick always but there are definitely days I don't like him very much and I'm sure he feels the same way about me.

I learned a while back that I can't control things no matter how much I think I can. Sometimes God has a different idea in mind than I do.

If you aren't at the 12 year mark let me warn you IT IS COMING. :o)

It is like he woke up and his brain leaked out of his ears and he can't remember his homework or assignments or supplies. He blows off tests and thinks he can just slide by. He says we are too strict and he might be right in some areas...we are evaluating that.

We asked him what he wanted to be if he could be anything in the world and you know what his answer was? "Normal."

I had to break it to him that he will never be normal. He's smart. He's attractive. He's funny. He isn't average. He is above average and I don't get why he would want to settle for just being average.

If I saw him doing his very best then I would know he got it. But the way he approaches school and his attitude about the future confuses me.

He has the opportunity to take some honors classes soon and he doesn't want to do it. "Only geeks take those classes." Hey, kid? Your MOM was one of those geeks!

He has indicated he wants to go ahead with his baptism soon and we are very happy about that.

I just want him to live up to his potential.

I KNOW I can't force him to do it...there is that control issue again...but I know he always seems to choose to do things the hard way and it is going to cause him to have a hard road ahead.

I know a large portion of it is his exposure to his biological dad but there is little I can do to combat that other than talk him through it.

Just pray I have wisdom in raising this little person who is exactly like me.

While I'm Waiting...

Several of you have asked how the job search is going. First, I appreciate so much all of your prayers. For now, the job search is going very slowly. I've been looking since February and there just aren't any positions in my field right now.

I'm accepting that it might be Fall before something opens up. John and I pray nightly that God intervene in our situation but first and foremost, we are praying that overall His will be done in this and He get glory in the outcome. Now before I sound too grounded in this...this is a very hard prayer to pray. I definitely have days where I am frustrated and sad and yes, even angry at God. But, how thankful I am that He can take all of my feelings and He wants me to give them to Him.

For the last few weeks after I take the boys to the bus stop I've been jogging around the lake in our subdivision.

This serves 2 purposes: 1) Maybe I can finally drop those last 10 baby weight pounds and 2) I spend some quality time talking and listening to God. Normally no one else is out and I can close my eyes and hear birds. I can walk around and watch the Mama Duck with her new babies and how she nurtures them. There are 2 spots on the track that when the wind is blowing just right you can smell honeysuckle. I walk around in awe of our beautiful world but more importantly, our Creator that made all this for us and provides for us daily.

Some days I have my iPod with me and this morning the song, While I'm Waiting (by John Waller) was playing. If you are not familiar with this song, go download it right now. I'm sure the neighbors around the lake (if they are looking out their windows at 7:15 AM) wonder who this crazy lady is jogging around, singing and lifting up her hands in the air.

Anyway, some of the lyrics...I've posted them before but I just love them.


I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

Pretty appropriate at this season in my life, don't you think?

So, on days that I feel frustrated and sad and angry, I hold on to what I have said from Day One: I set my heart to God's timing. As sure as He is, I know my circumstances will change. I trust you, Father.

BUT, in the meantime, I will serve. I will worship. And...I will wait.

When God Gets Personal...with My Grief

John 11

1) My great loss is not a measure of God's love for me.

2) God answers all prayers but He does not grant all requests.
--The request could be wrong for me so the answer will be "No."
--The request could be the wrong timing so the answer will be "Not yet."
--I might need to grow before the request will be answered.

3) In moments of grief God wants us to trust Him even when we don't understand Him.

4) To see God at work in my loss, I must remove the stone as in the above reference to the story of Lazarus.