While I'm Waiting...

Several of you have asked how the job search is going. First, I appreciate so much all of your prayers. For now, the job search is going very slowly. I've been looking since February and there just aren't any positions in my field right now.

I'm accepting that it might be Fall before something opens up. John and I pray nightly that God intervene in our situation but first and foremost, we are praying that overall His will be done in this and He get glory in the outcome. Now before I sound too grounded in this...this is a very hard prayer to pray. I definitely have days where I am frustrated and sad and yes, even angry at God. But, how thankful I am that He can take all of my feelings and He wants me to give them to Him.

For the last few weeks after I take the boys to the bus stop I've been jogging around the lake in our subdivision.

This serves 2 purposes: 1) Maybe I can finally drop those last 10 baby weight pounds and 2) I spend some quality time talking and listening to God. Normally no one else is out and I can close my eyes and hear birds. I can walk around and watch the Mama Duck with her new babies and how she nurtures them. There are 2 spots on the track that when the wind is blowing just right you can smell honeysuckle. I walk around in awe of our beautiful world but more importantly, our Creator that made all this for us and provides for us daily.

Some days I have my iPod with me and this morning the song, While I'm Waiting (by John Waller) was playing. If you are not familiar with this song, go download it right now. I'm sure the neighbors around the lake (if they are looking out their windows at 7:15 AM) wonder who this crazy lady is jogging around, singing and lifting up her hands in the air.

Anyway, some of the lyrics...I've posted them before but I just love them.


I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

Pretty appropriate at this season in my life, don't you think?

So, on days that I feel frustrated and sad and angry, I hold on to what I have said from Day One: I set my heart to God's timing. As sure as He is, I know my circumstances will change. I trust you, Father.

BUT, in the meantime, I will serve. I will worship. And...I will wait.

When God Gets Personal...with My Grief

John 11

1) My great loss is not a measure of God's love for me.

2) God answers all prayers but He does not grant all requests.
--The request could be wrong for me so the answer will be "No."
--The request could be the wrong timing so the answer will be "Not yet."
--I might need to grow before the request will be answered.

3) In moments of grief God wants us to trust Him even when we don't understand Him.

4) To see God at work in my loss, I must remove the stone as in the above reference to the story of Lazarus.

Fingers Crossed

John has a phone interview this morning for a different job. One, that hopefully, would allow us a little more breathing room while I continue to search for something.

Please pray that it goes well and that if it is the right place for him to be that God will work it out for him to be there.

And, if not, that we accept it gracefully and know that God has a plan that we just don't see yet.

A Lesson Learned from An Atheist

So Sunday at church last week the pastor tells us he wants us to watch a quick session of "Penn Says" with Penn Gillette.

Now Penn is a self proclaimed atheist. He was talking about this guy that came up to him after a show and was very complimentary and very genuine. He said over and over that this was a good guy. The guy then gave him a Bible and had written a personal note to him on the inside.

Penn goes on to say that he doesn't believe there is a God and he disagrees with everything this guy believes but that he was a genuinely good guy and he respected him.

Here's the part that got me. I don't have the direct quote but he basically said that if you are a Christian and you don't proselytize then he has no respect for you. If you truly believe in a heaven and a hell and that people are going there if they don't have salvation and you don't tell everybody you meet then you are a hypocrite and how much do you have to hate someone not to want to tell them what you believe?

Wow.

He talked a little more about not telling people because you think they don't want to hear it or it is socially awkward and how many times he bets that happens by those who claim to be a Christian.

I found it really thought provoking and we were all challenged to consider his words. How many times do we not share our faith because we think it might be socially awkward? Or we think the person doesn't want to hear it?

If you want to see the clip you may want to scroll down and pause my music so you can hear better.

When God Gets Personal...With My Sin

I Corinthians 15:35-44; 50-57

1) Every person who has ever lived has been affected by sin.

2) God is not fair. He is just and right and good and holy but He is not fair...and we don't want him to be. If God were fair then Jesus wouldn't have had to die on the cross for my sins.

3) God has provided a way out of a world polluted by sin.

4) Our imperfection can be transformed by Jesus' perfection.

Happy Easter!

Pay no attention to the skull pajamas.

I had nothing to do with it...

One of our fish is acting weird. Swimming on his side. I figure he is dying but he has been doing this for almost 24 hours now and has yet to kick the bucket.

I took him out of the main aquarium and put him in a separate one to hopefully keep the other fish from getting anything if he's sick.

Tonight John and I were going over what possibly might be wrong...like we have any clue.

Josh was oblivious...or so I thought...playing his DS game.

Me to John: "Hmmm...do you think maybe his fin is hurt?"

John: "No...he seems to be using it fine."

Me: "Maybe he's just old and it's his time?"

John: "Maybe. It just seems weird he's lasted this long on his side though..."

John: "Do you think it could be pregnant maybe?"

Me: "Um...all the fish are males...if it is pregnant then somebody has some explaining to do."

Small little voice from the couch: "I haven't TOUCHED that fish!"

John and I then burst out in inappropriate laughter and Josh has no clue why what he said was so funny. He just heard that somebody had some explaining to do and wanted to make sure his butt was covered.

Classic.