Selfish Desires

I just wrapped up a lesson on prayer from Ephesians. It was so needed right now. All about how we sometimes want to treat God like a giant pinata and we pray to him our desires then whack him with our prayer stick and expect him to pour out blessings on us. Vivid imagery thinking of God as a pinata, huh?

Part of my gift for Christmas is that later in January three very close friends are flying in from Chicago to visit me for 4 days. I am beyond excited by this because with having Colin and being pregnant I haven't gotten to see them in over a year. I miss them so much. We keep in touch daily via email and blogs and whatnot but there is something about having them here, being able to hug on them and have them meet my little guy.

Now, all 3 of these ladies are not Christians. They are so respectful of my beliefs and I talk about them openly but they are not interested in pursuing a relationship with God. They know I pray for them. They know where I stand.

Well the minute I found out they were coming I started stressing out over the church service that Sunday. I planned on asking them to accompany me to my church and I know that they will do it out of love for me even though it isn't something they would normally do.

Will the music be just right? Will the pastor's sermon be something amazing? Should I call and explain to him that he needs to pump it up a notch for my girls? I started telling God that I needed him to show up in a major way...really do something spectacular to reveal himself to my friends and something they can't deny is the power of God.

And then my Abba, Father convicted me that I'm praying for something that is a very true desire of my heart but I'm going about it the wrong way. It isn't my job to arrange things perfectly so they are overcome and turn to him.

It is my job to live my life daily as a witness and let him do the rest. Plant the seed. Expose them to my life on a daily basis and things I struggle with and overcome with God's grace. Not orchestrate an amazing worship service. Not have everything in place for this show to be played out. Maybe the service will be something amazing that day but that isn't the point.

My prayer needs to be that God works his will in whatever way he sees fit and I'm there to glorify and honor him no matter what. His will...not mine and how I think it should play out.

So my prayer is changing from wanting everything to be perfect to wanting everything to be how God wants it. It isn't my job to save people...it's my job to live a life of example.