Tearing down the dam...

I have used this analogy with several people over the last few months and it has been so valuable to me in my marriage and in talking to others about problems and issues they have in their relationships.

Relationships are like a big huge dam holding back a ton of water. The water is what life throws at you. Trials. Problems. Spiritual attacks on your relationship. You name it.

Many times, myself included, we try to put band aids on the dam to keep the water from spilling out. This rarely works. Little leaks start to form and we just put another band aid on it. And another leak pops up and another and another...

In order to truly fix the dam, you have to tear it down completely and start over, building it stronger. Building it around God. Turning it over to him and stop trying to fix things on your own.

Boy did I learn this lesson the hard way.

But, once we tore down our dam and rebuilt it, allowing God to direct our steps, we have a firm foundation.

Sure he still drives me nuts at times and I know I have quirks that make him insane. But...we are in this. We aren't going anywhere.

We attended a marriage conference a few years back and the central theme was planting your stake in the ground. Letting your partner know you aren't going anywhere. Divorce is not an option. You're in this thing for better or worse.

We both like that analogy and at our wedding anniversary the following June, John woke me up early smiling from ear to ear.

He brought a gift from behind his back...a piece of wood.

I smiled and accepted it graciously, much like you do when your child brings you something they made at school and you have no clue what it is or what it does but know that it has meaning to them. He kept on smiling and I stared at this piece of wood trying to figure out what the deal was.

Then he said, "Get it? It's a stake! My stake is in the ground. I'm not going anywhere."

Such a sweet, meaningful gift that now sits in the window next to my bedside table. I love when guests asks me about the piece of wood in our bedroom and I can share the story with them.